Friday, July 20, 2012 - 5:30 pm
AP Potluck at 355 Naughright Road, Long Valley

Topic: Attachment Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Extended Family

Attachment Parenting can be challenging in a world that still doesn't necessarily support the idea of granting children some autonomy even when they are very small and respecting them as individuals with their own ideas, wants, needs, and personalities. This can present a challenge when co-parents aren't always on the same page. And now that it's summer - which means summer vacations, often spent with extended family - the challenges can be greater when grandparents and other relatives challenge our parenting practices. At our next meeting, we will discuss strategies for dealing with these delicate issues while maintaining strong relationships among all members of our families.

Recommended Reading: On Being a Parenting Original by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia, Mothering Magazine, March/April 2008



Topic: What is Attachment Parenting? (And What Isn't?)
Date: Friday, June 15, 2012

In the wake of the infamous Time magazine cover asking women, "Are You Mom Enough?", a discussion has erupted over Attachment Parenting. Is it an extreme form of martyrdom, or is it a common sense way of raising children? At this meeting, we discussed the principles of Attachment Parenting, and talked about what it means to be AP. (Hint: it isn't about self-denial and total subjugation of the self to the betterment of the children!) We also talked about the idea put forth by Elisabeth Badinter in her new book that Attachment Parenting in general, and breastfeeding in particular, are destroying feminism by tying women to the home after they have fought so hard to gain equal footing in the workplace. For a thorough and thoughtful discussion of this idea - Why Women Still Can't Have It All - take a look at this article by Anne-Marie Slaughter in The Atlantic.


The No-Cry Sleep Solution

by Elizabeth Pantley

There are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: the hotly debated Ferber technique of letting the baby "cry it out," or the grin-and-bear-it solution of getting up from dusk to dawn as often as necessary. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's sanity-saving book The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Pantley's successful solution has been tested and proven effective by scores of mothers and their babies from across the United States, Canada, and Europe. Based on her research, Pantley's guide provides you with effective strategies to overcoming naptime and nighttime problems. The No-Cry Sleep Solution offers clearly explained, step-by-step ideas that steer your little ones toward a good night's sleep--all with no crying.


Attachment Parenting International (API) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit member organization founded in 1994 to network with parents, professionals and like-minded organizations around the world. API boasts an impressive group of board and advisory board members, including Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears, R.N., author and co-sleeping specialist Dr. James McKenna, Lu Hannessian of LetTheBabyDrive.com, author Alice Miller and Jan Hunt of the Natural Child Project, among others. API’s mission is to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world. In addition to providing assistance in forming Attachment Parenting support groups, API functions as a clearinghouse providing educational materials, research information, consultative, referral and speaker services to promote Attachment Parenting concepts.

Attachment Parenting International promotes parenting methods that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents. Through education, support, advocacy and research, Attachment Parenting International seeks to strengthen families. More information about Attachment Parenting International can be found at www.attachmentparenting.org.


The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others.

Attachment Parenting isn't new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for the idea that this style of parenting is key to the optimal development of children.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Family Bed submitted by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia

6:30 pm - We begin "the launch sequence". Hubby takes 3yo DD and gives her a bath in the tub, I take 4mo DS and bathe him in the kitchen sink.

7:00 pm - We take turns at the changing table getting kiddos into jammies.

7:05 pm - I nurse baby to sleep and lie next to him, reading by booklight.

7:10 pm - Hubby reads daughter a book in the living room, three times, and then brings her to bed.

7:23 pm - Two labrador retrievers (combined weight 124 pounds) and two cats join us.

7:27 pm - Daughter decides to jump on the bed. Baby wakes up. I nurse him back to sleep as hubby tries to get daughter to sit still.

7:31 pm - Daughter decides she wants to sleep *ON* Daddy. Lies down.

7:33 pm - "Stop fidgeting."

7:34 pm - "Please stop fidgeting."

7:36 pm - "If you don't stop fidgeting you can't lay on me."

7:37 pm - "STOP MOVING."

7:46 pm - Daughter falls asleep.

7:49 pm - I start the water to take a nice, warm, relaxing shower after a long day.

7:51 pm - Baby wakes up crying.

7:52 pm - Get out of shower, dry off and crawl back into bed to nurse baby back to sleep.

8:03 pm - Consider having an adult conversation with hubby. Choose sleep instead.

9:12 pm - Phone rings. Ignore it.

10:24 pm - Daughter kicks me in the head. Dog has to go out.

11:40 pm - Wake up to use the bathroom. Other dog has to go out.

12:07 am - Baby wakes up. Daughter wakes up and says, "Mommy, can you please feed that baby. I can't sleep with him crying like that," rolls over, and goes back to sleep. Nurse baby back to sleep.

1:56 am - Wake up because electricity is out. Hubby gets up to call power company. Both dogs have to go out. Call them to come back in, but I can't see them in the dark and they are ignoring me. Baby wakes up because I'm not next to him. Nurse baby back to sleep.

2:09 am - Hubby comes back to bed with dogs. Daughter rolls over and snuggles against me, pinning me between her and baby. I begin to notice a dull ache in my left shoulder.

2:22 am - Power comes back on. Baby is restless; lay him on my chest and go back to sleep. I need to use the bathroom, but decide that emptying my bladder is not worth the risk.

3:01 am - Cats decide to have a wrestling match on the bed. Kick them out of the bedroom. Tell dogs to go lay down.

4:07 am - Baby becomes restless. Morning nurse-a-thon begins.

5:19 am - Baby finishes nursing. Laughs and gurgles. Heart melts. Hubby gets up with baby & dog, and dog #2 and I snuggle under the covers hoping for another hour of sleep, sweet sleep before daughter wakes.

6:46 am - Daughter wakes. Rolls over and says, "Mommy, you know what? I love you. Can we snuggle for a little?"



Gaea Meola said...

Kelly we should have a slumber party soon...your night sounds a lot like night's we've had around here!

lauren said...

pee-ing in the middle of the night is never worth the risk. i have the same internal conflict every night - to pee or not to pee! ha ha. love the blog - really enjoying it!