OUR NEXT MEETING

Friday, July 20, 2012 - 5:30 pm
AP Potluck at 355 Naughright Road, Long Valley

Topic: Attachment Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Extended Family

Attachment Parenting can be challenging in a world that still doesn't necessarily support the idea of granting children some autonomy even when they are very small and respecting them as individuals with their own ideas, wants, needs, and personalities. This can present a challenge when co-parents aren't always on the same page. And now that it's summer - which means summer vacations, often spent with extended family - the challenges can be greater when grandparents and other relatives challenge our parenting practices. At our next meeting, we will discuss strategies for dealing with these delicate issues while maintaining strong relationships among all members of our families.

Recommended Reading: On Being a Parenting Original by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia, Mothering Magazine, March/April 2008

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OUR LAST MEETING

Topic: What is Attachment Parenting? (And What Isn't?)
Date: Friday, June 15, 2012

In the wake of the infamous Time magazine cover asking women, "Are You Mom Enough?", a discussion has erupted over Attachment Parenting. Is it an extreme form of martyrdom, or is it a common sense way of raising children? At this meeting, we discussed the principles of Attachment Parenting, and talked about what it means to be AP. (Hint: it isn't about self-denial and total subjugation of the self to the betterment of the children!) We also talked about the idea put forth by Elisabeth Badinter in her new book that Attachment Parenting in general, and breastfeeding in particular, are destroying feminism by tying women to the home after they have fought so hard to gain equal footing in the workplace. For a thorough and thoughtful discussion of this idea - Why Women Still Can't Have It All - take a look at this article by Anne-Marie Slaughter in The Atlantic.

WHAT WE'RE READING

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

 by Elizabeth Pantley

There are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: the hotly debated Ferber technique of letting the baby "cry it out," or the grin-and-bear-it solution of getting up from dusk to dawn as often as necessary. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's sanity-saving book The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Pantley's successful solution has been tested and proven effective by scores of mothers and their babies from across the United States, Canada, and Europe. Based on her research, Pantley's guide provides you with effective strategies to overcoming naptime and nighttime problems. The No-Cry Sleep Solution offers clearly explained, step-by-step ideas that steer your little ones toward a good night's sleep--all with no crying.


ABOUT API

Attachment Parenting International (API) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit member organization founded in 1994 to network with parents, professionals and like-minded organizations around the world. API boasts an impressive group of board and advisory board members, including Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears, R.N., author and co-sleeping specialist Dr. James McKenna, Lu Hannessian of LetTheBabyDrive.com, author Alice Miller and Jan Hunt of the Natural Child Project, among others. API’s mission is to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world. In addition to providing assistance in forming Attachment Parenting support groups, API functions as a clearinghouse providing educational materials, research information, consultative, referral and speaker services to promote Attachment Parenting concepts.

Attachment Parenting International promotes parenting methods that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents. Through education, support, advocacy and research, Attachment Parenting International seeks to strengthen families. More information about Attachment Parenting International can be found at www.attachmentparenting.org.

ABOUT ATTACHMENT PARENTING

The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others.

Attachment Parenting isn't new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for the idea that this style of parenting is key to the optimal development of children.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Babywearing Good For Mama, Too! submitted by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about attachment parenting, and we were discussing the assumptions and (mis)perceptions that people have about what AP is. People assume you have to be a non-wage-earning parent (mother) to be an attached parent; they assume you have to do this or that (babywear, co-sleep, breastfeed for an extended amount of time) to be AP enough to consider yourself attached. People have often commented to me that they "just couldn't do it", that AP is too intense for them.

I've got news for you, folks. Parenting is intense work. It's hard, exhausting, time-consuming and draining emotionally, physically and financially. AP or no, being a parent is going to push you to your limits and beyond on a regular basis.

The way I see it, Attachment Parenting represents nothing less than a paradigm shift. We are used to competitive thinking in our society - if I am meeting my baby's needs all the time, then I am necessarily not meeting my own. Or worse, my "need" to "wait on my child hand and foot" stems from sort of psychopathology. AP, on the other hand, is at its core an effort to find ways to meet everyone's needs at the same time. Revolutionary!

Babywearing International, as part of their celebration of International Babywearing Week 2008, is putting out a beautiful and well-researched brochure called "Babywearing: Benefits for Mothers With Postpartum Depression or Depression". I am really interested in this effort, for two reasons. One is that, as someone who has suffered from PPD, I recognize the intense need for acknowledgement of this issue and efforts to alleviate the suffering of new mothers. And the other is that it acknowledges the fact that babywearing, while it is good for babies for any number of reasons, is also good for MOTHERS! The benefits are listed in the brochure as follows:

  • Babywearing reduces infant crying significantly which means less stress for mom
  • Babywearing helps babies sleep better and longer which means less stress for mom
  • Babywearing increases mom's confidence
  • Babywearing promotes bonding which makes parenting easier and more enjoyable
  • Babywearing helps moms meet baby's need for contact easily which means less stress for mom
  • Babywearing allows mom to care for baby while doing other things like eating, caring for other children, or going out for some sunshine, fresh air and exercise

And I have to add one more: carrying around an extra fifteen pounds helps you to get rid of the extra baby weight.

A win - win all around.

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