Friday, July 20, 2012 - 5:30 pm
AP Potluck at 355 Naughright Road, Long Valley

Topic: Attachment Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Extended Family

Attachment Parenting can be challenging in a world that still doesn't necessarily support the idea of granting children some autonomy even when they are very small and respecting them as individuals with their own ideas, wants, needs, and personalities. This can present a challenge when co-parents aren't always on the same page. And now that it's summer - which means summer vacations, often spent with extended family - the challenges can be greater when grandparents and other relatives challenge our parenting practices. At our next meeting, we will discuss strategies for dealing with these delicate issues while maintaining strong relationships among all members of our families.

Recommended Reading: On Being a Parenting Original by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia, Mothering Magazine, March/April 2008



Topic: What is Attachment Parenting? (And What Isn't?)
Date: Friday, June 15, 2012

In the wake of the infamous Time magazine cover asking women, "Are You Mom Enough?", a discussion has erupted over Attachment Parenting. Is it an extreme form of martyrdom, or is it a common sense way of raising children? At this meeting, we discussed the principles of Attachment Parenting, and talked about what it means to be AP. (Hint: it isn't about self-denial and total subjugation of the self to the betterment of the children!) We also talked about the idea put forth by Elisabeth Badinter in her new book that Attachment Parenting in general, and breastfeeding in particular, are destroying feminism by tying women to the home after they have fought so hard to gain equal footing in the workplace. For a thorough and thoughtful discussion of this idea - Why Women Still Can't Have It All - take a look at this article by Anne-Marie Slaughter in The Atlantic.


The No-Cry Sleep Solution

by Elizabeth Pantley

There are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: the hotly debated Ferber technique of letting the baby "cry it out," or the grin-and-bear-it solution of getting up from dusk to dawn as often as necessary. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's sanity-saving book The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Pantley's successful solution has been tested and proven effective by scores of mothers and their babies from across the United States, Canada, and Europe. Based on her research, Pantley's guide provides you with effective strategies to overcoming naptime and nighttime problems. The No-Cry Sleep Solution offers clearly explained, step-by-step ideas that steer your little ones toward a good night's sleep--all with no crying.


Attachment Parenting International (API) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit member organization founded in 1994 to network with parents, professionals and like-minded organizations around the world. API boasts an impressive group of board and advisory board members, including Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears, R.N., author and co-sleeping specialist Dr. James McKenna, Lu Hannessian of LetTheBabyDrive.com, author Alice Miller and Jan Hunt of the Natural Child Project, among others. API’s mission is to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world. In addition to providing assistance in forming Attachment Parenting support groups, API functions as a clearinghouse providing educational materials, research information, consultative, referral and speaker services to promote Attachment Parenting concepts.

Attachment Parenting International promotes parenting methods that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents. Through education, support, advocacy and research, Attachment Parenting International seeks to strengthen families. More information about Attachment Parenting International can be found at www.attachmentparenting.org.


The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others.

Attachment Parenting isn't new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for the idea that this style of parenting is key to the optimal development of children.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Cry Like a Baby? submitted by Kelly Coyle DiNorcia

I have a wonderful, amazing, loving young college student who comes to play with my kids a day or two a week so I can get some work done. Today she made an interesting comment to me: "Harry [my four-month-old baby] never cries when you're holding him, does he?"

Well....no. Duh.

But really, is it so obvious? I have had people comment frequently to me that they never hear a peep out of him. Is it because he's so laid-back? It makes me wonder - why *DO* babies cry?

A quick Google search reveals many reasons that "experts" have identified for crying. Hunger, dirty diaper, fatigue, boredom, pain or discomfort, need for contact. However, the fact that I wear my baby - meaning that I carry him pretty much all the time, what is affectionately called "baby as accessory" in my house - pretty much eliminates the need for crying for these reasons. I recognize his hunger signals and allow him to nurse before he needs to cry. I am aware when he soils his diaper and quickly change it. If he's tired, he's quickly lulled to sleep by my constant movement. He is rarely bored because he's with me all the time, watching what I do and learning all about the world. If there was cause for him to be uncomfortable or in pain, I'd know it - I'd be hot or cold too, or I would have noticed if something happened to him. And his need for contact is being satisfied, as well as my need to get things done and my desire for some quiet time.

Worn babies cry less, it stands to reason. Of course, some babies do not like to be worn - not everyone likes that much contact. And babywearing is impractical for some parents, such as those with physical challenges. But the arguments against babywearing - that babies will fail to develop physically or be "spoiled", somehow damaged, by being held just don't make sense. Adjusting to the constant movements of their caretaker, worn babies develop good muscle tone; in fact, in indigenous cultures where babies are routinely worn, they frequently show exceptional motor development. And research has shown that babies who cry release stress hormones in their bodies, and this is not necessarily good for them. If we can find a way to eliminate, or at least alleviate, stress on their tiny little bodies, that can't be a bad thing, can it?

1 comment:

Gina said...

This would explain why my daughter was off and walking at 9 months! Everyone was worried since she was "worn" so long each day (almost 4-5 hours!) that she would never roll over/crawl/walk...take that naysayers. I LOVE having my daughter close to me, and she just loves it too!